Two tiny words.
Two tiny words that can change your life in a BIG way.
To be honest, I’ve always been a bit of a worrier, but I didn’t think I would hear those words for a very long time.
At 24 years old, I wasn’t ready to loose my mom yet. I’m still not ready, nor do I think I ever will be. I still have to graduate, start a career, meet a great guy, get married, have kids, live my life – with her in it.
My mom was initially diagnosed in 2010. It was an aggressive form of HER2 Breast Cancer. My mom had radiation and a mastectomy. Everything was fine. We thought it was gone.
Christmas of 2012, my mom told me she found a lump under her arm. I later went to my room and cried. I spent the next couple months moping in a pool of disbelief and grief. In February the diagnosis came that the cancer had returned and spread. My mom had been having pain in her neck since this past August, but doctors had written it off as a fractured vertebrae, it was in fact cancer.
In the months that followed we discovered that the cancer had not only spread to the bones, but also to the lungs, liver, and brain.
My mom is strong. Stronger than I ever thought was possible, and despite what doctors have told us, we are still fighting. I am so proud of her strength, her determination, and her love. Every moment of every day, she is my inspiration.
Today I wondered, if the things we are learning, the experiences we are having, and the research we are doing could help anyone else. So for better or for worse, I would like to share some of these experiences with you, and maybe it will help.
My mom passed away May 31st 2014 after a valiant battle against cancer. She is the bravest person I have ever known, and even in her last days, continued to keep her sense of humour and kind personality alive. She didn’t want to go, and it was far too soon to lose an individual who was, above all, loving. She was not concerned for herself, but for those she left behind. It is our belief that someone as pure and genuine as my mom, could only retire to a place equally as good. We take comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering, and resides with those love ones who passed before her. She will be sorely missed, but always remembered, carried in the hearts of the many lives she touched. I am so proud of the person my mom was, and how she continues to encourage all those who knew her to be our best selves, even, or perhaps, especially, in her absence. I am lucky to have grown with such an amazing parent who loved her family above all else.
I think it is important to continue to remember my moms journey, not only through her illness, but all through her life. She is someone to be celebrated. I will continue to write this blog, in hopes that it might comfort, inspire, inform, or simply pass the time for others, and for myself.